Why is it considered controversial to say that we cause our own problems, when it is so obvious that we do?
For sure the concept of ‘blame’ can be a psychological negative that we don’t need to carry around.
We don’t need to grow up being blamed for all kinds of stuff that goes wrong.
We don’t need to be made feel that everything is our fault.
But we do need to realise that everything that happens in our lives is our responsibility. Along the way to realising this we may need to pass through the valley of blame. If we must blame others for our plight, or at least part of our plight, and the blame is justified, then so be it – blame away.
If we can face the truth and realise that we are also partly or fully to blame – then eat the damn crow. But let’s not dwell here. Blame may be a good line to draw in the sands of history, it may help us get a decent perspective, but it’s only productive if it leads us to the inescapable conclusion that no matter why we are the way we are, no matter who else shaped us against our will, ultimate responsibility to deal with it, to change, to move on and up always rests with us.
It can’t rest anywhere else really, can it!