If you want a life of certainty then don’t get into a relationship, don’t set up your own business, don’t play sports and definitely don’t have kids.
Susan Jeffers wrote that book Feel The Fear & Do It Anyway decades ago, it changed the lives of millions of people, it’s message now permeates a multitude of disciplines from sport to art to business – and yet so many people are still stuck in fear mode unable to bring themselves to take those first steps out! The fear we feel in any given situation is a manifestation of our need for certainty when we know there is none to be had.
If this is you, stuck in fear mode, unable to make hard decisions I can only ask - did you not read the book? Are you not aware of the joy that comes from facing fears you once imagined were bigger than you?
Failure hurts, it hurts deep in the heart and in the gut, it feels terrible, it clouds life making us want to go and hide, to curl up with something very familiar to us.
What we don’t seem to know collectively – despite so many books written on the topic – is that failure is PART of success, it’s not the opposite of it, it’s not something that might happen as we set out to conquer a challenge, it WILL happen. It happens over and over.
Are we so afraid of it that we stop ourselves from even trying to succeed just in case we fail?
Are we not yet aware that long term lack of trying in case we fail IS the ultimate kind of failure?
Alas it doesn’t feel that way because the pain is spread out, so we don’t feel it so sharply…until we do, until we face the end with mountains of regret, then we feel it in spades!
IVF failure can crush the spirit of the strongest person, it’s bloody painful, but IVF failure is the norm in the business of assisted reproduction. IT’S THE NORM! Success only happens with a minority, that’s a fact. Once you step into that arena you must be prepared to fight, but to do that at all you must be prepared to stack your life’s priorities clear in front of you - and if having a child is not squarely on top of that priority list by a country mile, then you need to rethink your life, because you are in the wrong colosseum and your creative energy is needed elsewhere.
Feel the fear – but do it anyway!