If a child lives with criticism they learn to criticise.
It seems to me we must all have been criticised as kids, because everybody I know criticises someone for something. It happens so regularly it could be regarded as ‘normal’ in society, like the proverbial fish unaware of the water they live in, humans mostly seem unaware of how deeply ingrained criticism is.
But there is a serious problem with it, and if you are struggling with infertility it is something you need to be aware of.
Whereas the concept of ‘critique’ is meant to be an objective and honest appraisal designed to help someone, ‘criticism’ is not, it is always judgemental, and that’s the issue. We know how it affects the receiver – it makes them feel ‘less’ – (that’s why we do it!!), but it seems almost no one is aware of the karmic sting in the tail that rebounds on the giver. It sows in us the seeds of our deepest fear – the fear we all have of not being ‘enough’.
This is the fear that wells up inside us whenever we try to pursue our dreams. It is the fear that causes us to doubt our ability whenever we face a challenge big enough to sink us.
It’s because of this fear that we hesitate, we procrastinate, we turn away and we lose confidence. The fear we feel is the magnification of every criticism we ever gave out to others for making mistakes. It makes us shy away from taking risks in case we fail and end up looking foolish in front of others. This in turn makes us choose the path of safety instead of the path of adventure. Alas it is somewhere on the path of adventure that life’s meaning awaits us.
The real tragedy of this self-inflicted wound is that it hinders us from full expression of who we are and what we can be.
We hold back our best self…just in case we might get criticised. For the artist in us all – this is our deepest fear.
The solution is mind-bendingly simple though - The Criticism Diet.
Choose to give up criticising.
Like quitting sugar - the process brings you face to face with just how often you eat it, but once you get it out of your system it loses its grip over you and you feel free!
If you are struggling with infertility it’s possible that your solution lies somewhere down the ‘safe path’, but for many of you infertility IS your call to adventure. It’s a problem so difficult it forces you to venture into unknown lands in search of answers you don’t yet understand.
If you harbour a fear of failure that prevents you from acting, it’s probably because you were unfairly criticised throughout your life. You can’t change the past, but you can change how it affects your future by making sure you are not karmically cursing yourself by criticising others – even if they deserve it!