We all know people who have some obvious overly introverted side to their personality that prevents them from reaching out and sharing their soul with others. They are our work colleagues, our neighbours, our parents, our siblings, our friends, our team-mates and they may even be us.
They might be nice, capable people who never give you a bad vibe, but you know you wouldn’t give them a job managing others because they just don’t inspire that kind of trust.
In the privacy of their own minds they probably know this about themselves. Maybe they think of themselves as shy, or awkward, or quiet, or boring, or lacking in confidence.
Time marches on and eventually this person feels restless and wants some variety in their life, so they apply for a job that stretches them more than they have been used to.
This is when the birds come home to roost. The interviewer sees the same old person, shy, quiet or boring, un-personable and hard to get a good chat flowing with. They are not doing it on purpose, they wish they were different, in their own mind they are trying very hard. But the interviewer can only judge what they see in front of them and offers the job to someone else.
Why do they choose to remain the same all these years? Why don’t they change?
With all the psychology we now know about how to change, with all the books, all the coaches, all the therapists, all the people who have gone before, all the help that is within easy reach of most people – why the hell do they obstinately maintain the same personality all their lives when they know it is not serving them?
Why do you?
If you can answer this question to yourself with honesty so raw that it hurts your heart to even think about it – you will have in your hands the keys to a fulfilling life. It is our personality, not external circumstances, that create the problems we face in life - problems we have the opportunity to solve. But solving them requires changing ourselves, which is the one thing humans seem hell bent on not doing!