I have a strange question on my website that prospective clients must answer before I send them my program brochure. (Actually there are a few strange questions on it!)
“Do you know your life’s purpose?”
It’s a rare person who replies honestly “Yes”.
I remember Oprah saying one time that if you didn’t know your life’s purpose then your mission should be to find it. What she meant was that everything gets better, more focussed, more meaningful more successful if you are pursuing your purpose, and once you realise this then you have no choice but to go in search of it, because even searching for it is as good as having it!
Pursuing your purpose doesn’t mean you ‘have’ the life you want, it means you are moving towards it all the time.
I agree with Oprah in sentiment but disagree on the specifics of it.
I no longer believe that everyone has a singular life purpose.
I no longer believe that we must find ‘it’ or else our lives will be wasted.
I strongly believe that we can mould our own purpose by working to solve our own problems as they arise (as opposed to avoiding them).
Defining that purpose in words can be difficult, but I know that we all have a sense of it, regardless of how we explain it out loud.
The tragedy is how so many people reach the end of their lives oblivious that they could have defined their own purpose ages ago and went off in search of it thus making a much more meaningful life in the process.
Your life’s purpose can’t be “to have a baby”, because you can full fill that purpose over a 30-hour period of labour as you actually deliver the baby.
Your life’s purpose can’t be “to be a parent”. Any ejit can be a parent, any parent can be an ejit. Just being a parent is not a purpose. Sure - it can be a worthy ‘goal’, and for my clients it’s a goal that requires a lot of work to achieve.
A purpose is a teleological concept, it emerges from the ‘Why’ question.
Why do you want to have a baby? Why do you want to be a parent?
What gets you up in the morning?
If it is to do something you really don’t want to do and doesn’t even get you any closer to what you do want to do - then you will have to reckon with that as part of your journey back to fertility.
Everything is connected!