With 1 in 4 couples now experiencing some level of infertility there is a very real chance that you won’t be able to solve your problem before time runs out.
If infertility does anything to a person, it makes them aware of how they spend their time. Most of us spend most of our lives acting as though we are unconcerned about the passage of time. We waste time on an astronomical scale.
There is an upside to this - not being rushed or hurried is a rare personality trait that keeps us from getting stressed! But is this you, is this why you are ok to wile away the hours? I doubt it. In fact, I suspect you are the opposite - most likely you are rushing and trying to make up time on a daily basis. Most likely you are stressed in some fundamental way.
If your time has never seemed to be that precious to you, and you now find yourself facing infertility, I have two messages for you, one is hard-hitting, and one is hopeful.
The hard-hitting message is that this moment can be used by you (if you choose to do so) as a wake-up call. It is, in philosophical terms, an opportunity to correct a wrong way you look at the world with a less wrong way. Meaning we never actually have a perfect view of the word or of our place in it, the view we hold is akin to a map, a close approximation of reality but not actually reality. The closer our view is to reality the better we tend to get on in the world.
It may be a reality that you have not been valuing your most precious perishable asset - time.
Maybe you felt that you could squander it because there was always more time to get it back? I certainly did.
Maybe you felt that you could let your health slip because you had more pressing matters to attend to and that there would be time to get it right eventually. I certainly did!
Do we judge ourselves for this? Not even a little bit. We do what we do because that’s the best way we see of doing it at the time. To judge ourselves for this is to waste yet more time and compound the problem.
To accept it - and learn from it - that’s the process life calls us to do. That’s the journey infertility urges us to go on.
The hopeful message is this - you can, in most cases, fix your problem. But if you are not ready or willing to face the pain of accepting the bitter truths about yourself, then you are not able to update your world view and so you will stay where you are - with the problem you created.
You must first be open to solving the deeper problems in your head before you can hope to overcome the deeper problems in your body. There is huge hope there. You hold ALL the power to do that. It’s the only real power you hold.