It’s a ridiculous example but go with me for a moment – what if you were useless at math and a psycho had a gun to your head ordering you to solve a quadratic equation or they’d blow your brains out? It seems to me you might as well make peace with your maker at that point because you can’t make yourself good at math in a short moment. But what if the psycho said - “I’ll be back in 6 months and if you can’t solve a similar equation by then you’re dead”?
Can you change your brain in 6 months? Sure you can.
Give my three kids the same task that involves doing something new and you will get three different outcomes. They see the problems differently, or they don’t see it at all. They imagine solutions differently, or they can’t imagine them at all.
A solution that is obvious to one is totally obscured to another. Why?
They have different brains – it’s that simple. A deficit in one area is usually compensated by a strength in another, but when faced with a particular kind of problem the deficit gets in their way, and when faced with a different kind of problem their strength allows them to solve it easily.
But what if the problem you face is serious and of a type that your kind of brain struggles with? What if it’s so important you just can’t ignore it or give it to others to solve for you? What then?
The most obvious answer is that you're going to have to struggle with this more than other people would., you are going to have to get serious about it and put in extra effort to solve it. You're probably going to need help too.
At this point in my career it is painfully obvious to me that clients who can’t overcome their infertility are resisting change in some way, and part of the reason they are resisting is because the nature of the problem is one they find really hard to get their heads around. They just don't get it and they don't want to have to go through the pain of changing their brains so that they can 'get it'.
I really feel for these people because they have the psycho’s gun to their head (life is a psycho!) telling them to solve a problem – but they just can’t grasp it.
“How can food make me infertile?” It doesn’t make sense!
“How can everyday stress make me infertile when I see stressed out people all well able to have kids?” It doesn’t make sense!
It’s true – it doesn’t make sense – to a brain that struggles to make sense of these kind of things, that is.
But it makes perfect sense to someone whose brain can easily see the connections.
Alas, the psycho of life will shoot you dead if you don’t adapt!