When the experts fail you, when the amateur onlookers run out of advice, when those who care most about you can offer no more than a helpless shrug and a hug – what do you do?
Who do you turn to when nobody seems to have an answer to the biggest problem in your life?
This is the unspoken question being asked by so many couples struggling in vain with fertility issues – but it’s the wrong question, or at least it’s in the wrong order.
The very first question you must ask yourself is this –
“Is solving my infertility problem the most important priority in my life right now?”
If the answer is no, then at least you have acknowledged the truth – you are putting more emphasis on something else. That’s your right and your call – no matter what others might say about it.
If the answer is Yes – then even though the odds are against you - you have a fighting chance!
The second question you must answer is this – “Do I BELIEVE the problem can be solved?
If the answer is No – then it’s time to go home and call it a day, or at least take time out and seek some clarity.
If the answer is Yes - then it’s game on.
(If you are not sure what the answer is there is an easy way to find out – if you are doing anything at all to solve the problem, or to understand it better, or talking to people about your options – then, whether you realise it or not you do harbour some sense of belief that you can solve it. You simply wouldn’t be here if you had no belief at all or if you believed there was no chance of succeeding!)
So, if you are ‘here’ at all, searching, looking, trying, and hoping despite the overwhelming sense of uncertainty and confusion or that sinking feeling in your gut that it’s all about to go horribly wrong for you – then from my heart I honour your commitment.
Now is the time to go back to the first question – Who do you turn to when nobody seems to have the solutions you seek? The answer of course is Yourself.
You turn inward and use the power of your own self-belief to draw out from you the courage and creativity to continue despite the sometimes-terrifying sense of unknown that lies before you.
This could be the fight of your life, it could be the moment that defines you to yourself, it could be the time when you face the sum of all your fears and bring out the warrior in you that you always knew existed.
When you make clear decisions with intent and belief, it changes your perception and allows you to see solutions where you otherwise saw nothing.
When you move into the unknown with faith and courage – providence moves in your favour.
Solutions created by others who have gone before you will all of a sudden become available to you, ideas you would never have connected become entwined in a beautiful dance creating a path for you that would never have opened up had you not summoned the world to your aid by believing in yourself with conviction.
It’s all there to play for.
Or – you could choose to just rely on the experts and hope they find the answers for you! That might work the odd time.
Either way – it’s your call!